Blank Stare - A Blog for the perpetually confused!

Dog-gone films!

2009-03-15T04:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, quick blog for a quick question... what the hell is it with all the movies about dogs that been coming out recently?

Seriously, I have a dog and I love dogs but I'd like to know why the bigwigs at Hollywood feel this intense need to bring out all these canine films recently. In the three months we've had:

Marley & Me
Bolt
Space Buddies
Hotel for Dogs

You might be thinking 'Well, that's only four' but surely four is enough for three months. In fact, out of those four films the only one I'm really interesting in seeing is 'Marley & Me' which I've heard good stuff about (it's supposed to be a comedy-drama about the life of a family dog, with some very emotional scenes... although you wouldn't guess from the trailers which mark it as a 'look at the silly dog and his hi-jinks' film). 'Bolt' looks like standard Disney CGI fare and 'Hotel for Dogs' just sounds ridiculous

As for Space Buddies... well, you know a film is in trouble when it's released straight to DVD and the advert destroys any possibility that would want to see the film. Silly voices, stupid jokes that might have been funny in 1989 and fart jokes... Space Buddies has it all!

So yeah, basically you can't move at the cinema for films about dogs at the moment. Roll on May, when the Star Trek movie and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince comes out!

When the cat is away, the louse will play!

2009-03-08T03:58:00.000-07:00

Wow, long time no blog!

Ok, we've all heard of Cheryl Cole. You know, Girls Aloud member and X Factor judge. She seems to be a sensible woman. She's tough, she's smart and she's sensible... so can someone please explain to me what the hell she's still doing with that dickhead of a footballer she's married to?

If you don't know the story so far, here it is. In 2007 Ashley Cole (Cheryl's aforementioned Mister) decided to forgego his marridge vows and decided to sleep with a blonde slapper who showed how classy she was by immedietly going to the Sun and selling the story (she defended it by saying she was doing it for Cheryl to make her see what her husband was like... of course it was nothing to do with the large fee she got for the story). Now, even though Cheryl appeared to kick him out for some reason she took him back several months later saying he was a 'free spirit', which to me roughly translates as 'Yeah, he'll probably cheat on me again, but I love him'.

Now this week, Cheryl has been climbling Mount Kilamanjaro for Comic Relief and Ashley decided to enjoy himself by going out and chatting up yet another blonde. Now, after ending up in prison for assaulting a photographer who got his picture and getting a court order to stop the picture being published he defended himself by saying they were having an 'intellectual conversation'.

So yeah, he was trying to get her into bed!

Now, he's a knob. That's clear but what I don't understand is why normal, sensible people can somehow be attracted to people who are anything but. I'm not just talking about women here, I see loads of people going out with someone who couldn't be more wrong for them. I mean, I've made no secret of the fact that I hate being single but I'd rather be single than be with someone who'll make me miserable. I don't get why these other people don't feel the same way, but hopefully they'll learn.

Meeting people off the Internet... not a good idea!

2009-02-17T15:37:00.000-08:00

Ok peeps, it's video time!

By the way, I'll just point out that it's NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Watch it then come back...

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8ampc_facebook-nightmare_fun

Ouch!

How, upon listening to it, you're probably horrified at those 'stupid scouse bastards' and their 'cruel prank' but what the video doesn't point out is that the prankee Stuart Slann was actually married when he went to visit 'Emma' with the full intention of cheating on his wife who has now left him. On the other hand, this is clearly a joke too far on behalf of the pranksters (who had met Stuart on a holiday, probably bullied him, had an argument about football and chucked him into a swimming pool) who I imagine would have let him travel for five hours and wait another three-and-a-half in front of a farm sucking the rampant rabbit even if he was single.

Who is the villain of the piece? I think it's safe to say everyone involved is.

Twittering Away!

2009-02-17T06:42:00.000-08:00

A very short entry, just to let you guys know that I am now on Twitter under the name 'watchermark' and I'm looking for people to follow me.

So, if you're on Twitter please start following me. If not, join up and start following me. Come on guys! I need my existence validating!

Find Twitter here: www.twitter.com

What I wouldn't give for a Time Machine...

2009-02-16T03:49:00.000-08:00

Have you ever said something, either seriously or as a joke, that you've come to regret later as events developed. Well, it's not very often I regret something I've said but on Saturday I ended up with a massive case of 'Ohh... why did I say that?'

Let me start at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start). I was never a fan of Jade Goody and with good reason. She was basically famous for being thick which isn't much of a reason to be admired by people in my opinion. But, despite my own opinion, Jade is easily the person to have received the most recognition since leaving the Big Brother house. But she really irritated me, constantly doing OK! shoots, doing other reality shows and writing endless magazine columns (and let's forget the time she thought adequate training for running the London Marathon was to run on the treadmill for an hour and eat a curry).

So naturally, when she left the Celebrity Big Brother house in disgrace and was hated by the entire nation for her very un-PC comments against Shilpa Shetty I decided it was poetic justice. She'd gotten famous for being thick and now was hated for being thick. Jade disappeared into a black hole for a year and I believed she would never again grace regular television.

Now go back a few months ago when the newspapers all screamed 'JADE HAS CANCER' I scoffed. I mean, I really scoffed. Suddenly everyone loved her again, it was as if the phrase 'Shilpa Poppadom' had never been uttered. In the papers the word 'Disgraced' was replaced with 'Brave', and suddenly everyone wanted an interview with her. I scoffed, and openly aired my belief that Jade could be faking the disease in order to become famous again. In my defence, I had what I thought was evidence:

Jade had just entered the Indian Big Brother House, and I imagined this was a way to get her in the house but also get her out before she could cause another incident.
An autobiography was released a few weeks later, and I just felt the timing was too perfect.
Jade's period of celebrity exile was by now quite long, and as a result I felt this was the last ditch effort to restart her career.

It was all going to be perfect. Jade would shave her hair, have a few months off appearing only for paparazzi photos and suddenly emerge back into the limelight.

And so I'll come to the words I now regret. I was discussing the story with my brother (who believed her) and he asked me what would convince she was ill. And then I said the words...

"Well, if she dies, then I'll be pretty convinced."

I said it totally in jest and didn't for one second think anything would come of it. But then Saturday came and upon picking up the Daily Mirror I was horrified to see that Jade is indeed terminally ill and will be dead within months. And now I feel awful.

To be honest, I don't even know why I feel awful. I personally haven't done anything. It's not liked I wished it on her, it's not like by saying the above I was dooming her. What I said or didn't say made absolutley no difference, and yet why do I still feel like I should be cutting off my testicles with a rusty bread knife in repentence. In the end, I wish I'd thought a little bit about what I was saying at the time then maybe I wouldn't feel so bad.

Man... that was depressing.

Someone's Got Some Daddy Issues!

2009-02-14T02:05:00.000-08:00

I was planning to write about the snow today, mostly regarding how much of a pain it is to endure. I've never understood this romantic notion that comes with snow. It's cold, it's wet, and there's always little sods on the street who think it's really funny to pelt you with it.

But the newspapers have provided me with something different to talk about, something that had everybody at work talking yesterday and is far more disgusting than snow. I am, of course, talking about Alfie Patten who has entered the throes of fatherhood... at 13!

I think the reason that everyone is talking about this is because Alfie looks like he's 8 years old and should be outside chucking snowballs at me instead of welcoming his daughter into the world. The pictures make him look like a kid holding his little sister. Luckily, by comparison, the poor baby's mother (who is aged 15, in case you're interested), looks about 20.

Now, I'll admit that's pretty shocking. Of course all the usual parties have weighed in with their opinions; Jane Moore, Lorraine Kelly, David Cameron... wait. David Cameron! David 'Leader of the Opposition' Cameron! Hasn't he got anything better to do than comment on a tabloid story-of-the week?

Anyway, as I was saying, that's pretty shocking but if you read further and further into the story then it gets almost soap-like it's so complicated. Here are the highlights:

- Alfie's dad left his wife and his children for the 19-year-old friend of one of his stepdaughters. He now plans to sit his son down and give him a talk about the birds and the bees... that proabably would have worked better about a year ago.

- Chantelle's (the mother) parents were fully aware the two were sharing a bed.

- Both families involved are fully reliant on benefits. Makes sense.

But by far the best part about all this is that it turns out that Chantelle is basically a little slut and there may be a total of five possible dads for this child. Someone needs to call the Jeremy Kyle show, because this would make a great edition. Hell, even I'd tune in!

In Other News

- Todd Carty was booted off Dancing on Ice. I'm gutted, but I'll probably still watch it.

- Everyone's been talking about a new website called Twitter recently. I'll have to check it out.

- Lily Allen said on 'The Sunday Night Project' that the kind of man she goes for is big, wears glasses and has a beard... all I need is some facial hair and I'll be perfect!

Comedy 1-0 Talent

2009-02-04T04:02:00.000-08:00

I'm not a fan of TV Talent Shows as a rule. Mostly because they all seem to feature a load of really pathetic wannabes who for some unfathomable reason seem to truly believe they're meant to be famous. Of couse, a few truly talented people have emerged from the rabble (the prime example being the excellent Joss Stone) but for the most part I find these shows to be a complete waste of airtime.

Which is mostly why I've surprised even myself by really enjoying this year's series of Dancing on Ice on ITV. To be honest, my love of the show is really only due to one factor... Todd Carty! Yes, Tucker Jenkins/Mark Fowler/Gabriel Kent (delete as applicable) is easily the funniest thing on ITV at the moment. Seriously, the show before last, seeing him going flying off stage with his arms flailing and his mouth agape made me laugh. Hard. Of course, it was nearly beaten last week seeing him trying to do what can only be called 'Backstroke on Ice' while his partner did everything she could not to collapse to the floor in tears (laughter or despair, you decide). It's brilliant to watch, it's kind of being at a wedding and seeing a drunken uncle try to 'get down with the kids' by showing off his ultra-cool dance moves.

Of course, it's also funny seeing the judges seethe with fury as despite having no genuine talent Carty is kept in the show week after week. Naturally, had this occured 18 months ago then a simple phone-line fix would have gotten rid of him in the first week but now as that bridge has burned for ITV we're instead going to get to enjoy Carty's ice antics every Sunday. Hoo-rah!

P.S. Wouldn't it be the funniest thing ever if he won!? I reckon Jason Gardner would burst into flames with fury, which would make the comedy highlight of the decade!

Out With The New, In With The Old

2009-01-30T00:49:00.000-08:00

God bless Challenge TV and everything it stands for, as it is airing a show that has proven so enjoyable to watch that I've been watching it pretty much every night since I found it.

I am of course referring to the previous Saturday Night ITV favourite 'You Bet!', a relic from the times when most people had only four channels, Reality TV was yet to be dreamed up by producers and Noel Edmonds' co-star wasn't a man on the end of a phone but a pink and yellow abomination. Having been browsing the channels the other night through boredom I literally stumbled across this show and, with my interest piqued, decided to watch for a few minutes to see if my memories of the show held up to the reality... and they did. An hour later, I found myself setting the series to record under series link (God Bless Sky+ too).

With that in mind, I've found myself thinking back to those simpler times when nightly TV was actually something worth looking forward to. 'You Bet!', 'Noel's House Party', 'Blind Date'... the list goes on of quality shows that are now sadly deceased. Now, I could go on all day about how good these shows are but there's plenty of web pages doing that, so instead I thought I'd talk about some of the tripe we're getting nowadays. Let's see, first from ITV2...

Paris Hilton's BFF

In this piece of hogwash Paris Hilton, who is most famous for being rich and... well, that's about it really, is like totally after her new Best Friend Forever and decided to totally come to the UK to find the lucky person. With the contestants desperate to be pals with this waste of flesh, they're willing to put themselves through hell and sacrifice every inch of dignity in order to achieve this goal. Cue the unnecessary tasks, back-stabbing and bitching which is expected from trash like this. It reminds me of Jodie Marsh's reality show when she was looking for a husband which by a complete coincidence her boyfriend happened to win.

The Jeremy Kyle Show

Chav TV! Ok, I know it's all been said already but this show genuinely mystifies me in that I can't understand why so many people are more than willing to air all their dirty laundry in such a public manner. Are they trying to get respect, because I doubt they will if the subject line is 'I MAY HAVE SLEPT WITH FIVE MEN, BUT I'LL PROVE YOU'RE THE FATHER'. Kyle himself is definitly someone you don't want working at the Samaritans, given that he doesn't make suggestions but dish out orders to the poor, unfortunate wretches who happen to populate the stage. The show is literally like watching a fight in a pub car park, it's that bad.

And finally...

Hole-in-the-Wall

This isn't on either, but sod's law dictates it will be back. Basically, a load of D-List celebrites desperate for exposure appear on this Dale Winton-fronted adaptation of a Japanese game show wear really tight silver jumpsuits and contort themselves into embarrassing positions while people laugh at them or get knocking into a pool... and that's the whole show. It was like hearing the same joke fifty times over, it's funny first time but quickly grows irritating.

Anyway, I'll stop there. Rant over. Basically, there's a reason I pay extra for Sky and that's so I don't always have to endure this crap. Here endeth the lesson.

Love, Stress and Short People

2009-01-27T07:25:00.000-08:00

What's the difference between Love and War? One's an intense battle involving both physical and psychological pain causing immense stress, painful memories and lifelong scars. The other is just War.

Why the philosophy? Well, I've made a date for Saturday night and while I go through the do's and do not do's for the event I cannot help but be reminded of the consequences of my last date which had me wishing for an apocalypse for a week. Want to hear the tragic tale, then please read on...

Having unwisely entrusted my love life to a dating website, I got chatting online with a girl who seemed pretty normal. Chatting led to exchanging of mobile numbers, and the exchanging of mobile numbers soon led to text. Alas, if I had realised that exchanging mobile numbers just a couple of hours after beginning to chat was a mistake then maybe I would have been spared the following events.

After a few days of texting, we arraged to meet in the local shopping center. After a week of nerves preparing myself, I went to meet said girl (I'll call her Miss X, for simplicity's sake). Deep down, I could tell just by looking at her that things weren't going to work out as the first words in my mind were 'Oh my god! She is really short'. Now, I don't want to sound like I'm discriminating against short people because I have no problem with short people but truthfully that was the first thought in my head.

Anyway, the date continued and the two of us went shopping and for a drink and it seemed to go ok and we agreed to keep texting and meet again at some point... and that's when it all started to go wrong. You see, quite simply, any time I wasn't at work (and sometimes even when I was) I was expected to text her.

Seriously, she would ask if I was in work and if I wasn't I would receive a text every two minutes for an hour and if I didn't respond within fifteen minutes then she would send me a text saying something along the lines of...

"Why rnt u txting me? u must not lyk me n e more what did i do wrng?"

Ignoring the appauling spelling, I went an another date with her but unlike the last time, I couldn't wait for it to end. This non-relationship wasn't going to work out, but try telling her that. The increasingly-needy text messages soon began to irritate me severely so I tried to break things off by mentioning that work was getting busier and that I wouldn't be able to see her very often. Her response was...

"dnt wry about me u dnt get rid of me tht easily"

ALARM BELLS RINGING!!! BUNNY BOILER ALERT!!!

That was it! I had to get rid of her as soon as possible. While I tried to let her down gently, she did not take the hint and even made hints about us moving in together and getting engaged!

ALARM BELLS RINGING EVEN LOUDER!!!

That was it! I was getting rid ASAP. Luckily an opportunity presented itself when Miss X decided I must be cheating on her due to me not texting her during the day (even though I made sure she was aware I was working). I said I wasn't cheating, although there was someone else that I liked at work. Basically, her reaction was as if she had walked into her house to find me naked in bed with both her mother and sister. She said I'd 'destroyed something special' evne thought we'd never even kissed. Anyway, even though she's gone, I still have to look over my shoulder when I'm in a certain town center...

And now, here I am preparing to potentially put myself through the same stress again. What do I wear, what if it isn't a date, what if she doesn't consider Pizza Hut to be romantic enough? I guess what I'm asking is this; is love really worth the stress it brings?

In Other News:

- Scientists have found that cows that are happy produce more milk than those that are not. Thanks for that scientists! Nice to see they're using their massive grants to find these things out, instead of useless stuff like, oh let's say, a cure for cancer or something.

- Al-Arabiya TV has hosted the first official televised interview with President Obama... wow, that sounds so good to say. President Obama. President Obama. I still can't believe he really is the President, it's too good to be true. It's like dreaming that you're making love to a beautiful woman one night, only to wake up the next morning to find it wasn't a dream but she really is lying next to you in bed.

If you sneeze, make sure you let all your friends know about it!

2009-01-26T05:31:00.000-08:00

Facebook is one of the curious aspects of the internet. I remember when I was first turned onto it by a friend of mine who was signed up and recommended I should give it a go. Now at first I was very skeptical, I was very happy using Myspace and I'm not a person who likes change as a rule. But alas I thought I'd give it a shot.

Now, my first impressions were not good. I thought it looked really complicated and not very well designed. A few minutes after signing up I left and went back to old, reliable Myspace for my social networking needs.

But strangely, just like smoking, despite my best attempts to avoid it I kept coming back to it to check what was happening. And now, what started off as a brief flirtation has turned into a full-blown relationship. Myspace is slowing growing cobwebs in a dark corner of my computer as Facebook is now by far my website of choice. It's akin to being in a happy relationship with a woman you think you love and is right for you when you meet another person who annoys the hell out of you yet despite this you fall helplessly and passionately in love with her. Pretty soon, the two of you are living together enjoying rampant, animal sex five times a week while the original girlfriend spends half her time crying and the other half wondering what she did wrong.

The worst part is, you can't tell her what she did wrong simply because you don't have an answer yourself and you're too busy fucking the new bird to really bother to think of an answer. So yeah, Myspace was dumped and Facebook is awesome. But there is one aspect of Facebook I'm wanting to talk about at the moment: Status Updates.

Now, even though I do them myself, I still can't understand why some people feel the need to document every little thing that happens to them during the day. Eventually, people are going to start documenting their bowel movements if things keep on. I've also noticed a recurring pattern with some of them...

- Girls who have just entered a relationship feel the need to mention their new boyfriend at least twice a day.

- Girls who have just ended a relationship badly feel the need to mention how upset they are at least twice a day.

- Some people tend to talk only in text speak which is really annoying (you try to read 'is gnna c if sum1 has bin on me prfile' without getting annoyed).

- Some people literally go '(Person X) is.................................' and that's it! They've time out of their lives to write nothing. Way to go!

- One thing that really annoys me is when people only give half a story. For instance; '(Person X) has just made a massive mistake!'. Well that's perked up my interest, but half the time we never find out what the mistake was!

So yeah, those do get on my nerves. But, just like the Sun, no matter how many times I try to quit it I just keep going back for one last hit. It's strange, it's hypnotic and yet it's brilliant in it's own sad way. So sadly, it seems the relationship will be continuing for while even though it keeps recommending other guys I might be 'interested' in.

In Other News

- The producers of Dancing On Ice have dumped the sexy outfits in case they upstage the contestants. With that in mind, wouldn't it be a better idea to also get rid of Holly Willoughby?

- In Coronation Street, Maria is going to start sleeping with Tony, the man who murdered her husband. And who says this show is unbelievable?

- The shops have started to wheel out their Valentine's Day merchandise, which makes me realise that while I may be single, at least I don't have to spend any money on cheap tat (but I will admit, it would be nice to get something).

Oh Mr. Ross, what will you come out with next?

2009-01-25T14:07:00.000-08:00

Everyone quick, stop whatever your doing! Put down that remote, place your food back on it's plate, leave your crying babies in their cots because I have some pretty shocking news!

Jonathan Ross, in a misjudged attempt to amuse his listeners, has made a humorous quip and obviously should be sacked from the BBC immedietly.

Ok, here's what happened. Eight minutes and thirty-five seconds (yes, the newspapers were kind enough to time it) into Ross's first radio show since ending his suspension, he was discussing with his producer Andy Davies what they did over the three months he was off the air. Davies told how he worked at a Spanish villa with an eighty-year old woman who kept trying to kiss him. Jonathan, using his usual amount of good taste, suggested maybe Davies could 'give her one'.

I know, it's shocking. I can see all you vomiting over your keyboards and immedietly looking for a way to contact OFCOM to report such a vile slur. But wait... it gets worse.

It turns out that the eighty-year old is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease... ouch!

Now, I should point out that Ross was not aware of this when he made the quip but that hasn't stopped the papers jumping onto this like a pack of ravenous wolves who have just finished a sponsored fast. The News of the World (a symbol for common decency indeed) has jumped to action. They've not only provided the full transcript of the conversation, they've not only printed all the jokes cut out from the chat show (so you can be outraged by things you've never even seen), they've not only told about how Tory MP David Davies nearly choked on his cornflakes when he heard but they've tracked down the poor old woman who Andy Davies was talking about and let her family know about what was said about their mother on a foreign radio show for about two minutes.

Ok, now this is getting really, really ridiculous. Are the papers so desperate to get Jonathan Ross sacked that they'll jump on anything he says that might be a bit dirty or smutty and rip it to pieces. Will there now be undercover reporters constantly following him in case he tells a joke about an Irish Man? From the looks of things, it's pretty likely it's already being done.

The sad thing is, if this had happened before the Andrew Sachs incident then it probably would have been ignored. But now the papers, like wolves, have got a taste for blood and now they're going to rip Ross, a decent entertainer, apart. As has been pointed out by Charlie Brooker, if the papers were like this 30 years ago, jumping on anything even remotely risky, we would never have had classic shows like Monty Python or The Young Ones. But the papers would have been happy, and that's the important thing apparantly.

In Other News

- Colleen Rooney has bought a new bikini... no, I'm not kidding. That really did make the newspaper websites.

Go to the police? Nah, it's too simple!

2009-01-24T07:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday wasn't a good day for me. I was off work, and spent most of the day with a headache that felt like a student rave was going on in there which, combined with the lack of sleep I'd suffered due to aforementioned headache, left me feeling like any second I would suddenly scrunch up in a foetal position and call out for my mother.

As a result, I spent the majority of yesterday watching TV and as a result I ended up watching one of the most preposterous shows on ITV at the moment.

I am, of course, referring to Emmerdale.

To be more specific I'm referring to the Jasmine Murder storyline. For anyone who hasn't been keeping up recently, here's the tale of woe so far.

Jasmine (who is the local vicar's niece and is far too nosy for her own good) was investigating a local mob family and found out that Shane, the corrupt copper she'd been shagging was involved with them up to the eyeballs. Long story short, she confronts him with this, he tries to rape her, she knockes him out, he attacks Jasmine's BFF Debbie (these two are pretty close, hell they're so close they like to have sex occasionally) and Jasmine hits him over the head a few times and kills him.

Are you still with me? Good.

Now that all sounds pretty unbelievable doesn't it. Well, that's nothing compared to what happened next. Jasmine and Debbie decided that the best thing they could possibly do is call Debbie's idiot cousin and dump the body in a local pond.

Now, this after all this, I was asking myself one question... Why the hell didn't they go straight to the police?!

Ok, look at the facts. He tried to attack both of them, they had evidence that he was involved with the Yorkshire Mafia, Jasmine had injuries... if they'd gone to the police then yeah, they'd have been some tough questions but it would have been far easier than what's happening now.

After the body was inevitably found by one of the locals (on Christmas Day no less), everyone's been going to and fro trying to work out who killed him. Which brings us to last night.

Jasmine, having spent the last month constantly looking on the verge of tears, finally confider to Laurel, her... how shall I put it... her step-aunt-in-law (it's complicated). Laurel, after the standard soap opera denial, was left shocked right up until the end credit. Today's question is, what will Laurel do now? Will she:

A - Do what any sane person would do, and tell her husband all about it so they can all sit down and sort through the mess.

or

B - Decide the best thing to do is keep it a secret, so that when everyone does find out, they'll all hate her for it

I think we all know that answer.

Now, I'm not just pouring scorn on Emmerdale, but all the soaps as it seems that whenevery anyone kills someone in self-defense then they must make a futile attempt to cover it up. Brookside had Trevor Jordache, Emmerdale had Ray, Eastenders had Dirty Den... the list goes on. In fact, the only time I've ever seen a character kill someone and claim self-defence was when Tracy Barlow killed Charlie Stubbs on Coronation Street... and that was murder! Seriously, it's not really a very good message to send out is it?

The only other notable thing on TV last night was the return of Jonathan Woss's (ok, cheap joke) chat show on BBC1. See, three months ago, he and Russell Brand... aw hell, you all know the story. Anyway he was back, and started the show off with an apology for what happened. Of course, if you didn't see the show you needn't have worried as the tabloids all carried transcripts as well as reminding us of the whole sordid affair from three months ago.

Now, if you want my opinion on the incident, while I agree the phone calls shouldn't have been broadcast the response was so ridiculously overblow I began to imagine the press would only settle for both Ross and Brand to be burnt at the stake.

Anyway, Ross returned but now The Sun seems to have found a new target in the shape of Chris Moyles. After making a very quick remark about all the celebrities on BBC historical show 'Who Do You Think You Are?' seem to visit Aushwitz, the tabloids descended saying the 'shocked' listeners (I'm a listener and I wasn't shocked,) were 'stunned' at the 'tasteless' remark. Now the BBC have issued a statement saying:

“Anyone who listens to the Chris Moyles Show will know he has an irreverent style...However, we regret that on this occasion his comments were misjudged and we are speaking to Chris and his team about them.”

That should be it, but given what the tabloids were like over 'Sachsgate' they might be calling for Moyles to be tarred and feathered this time next week. I wouldn't be surprised.

In Other News

- Apparantly James Corden (of Gavin & Stacey fame) has caused two local cafes to shut down since moving away from them. Who needs the Credit Crunch?

- A hen has just laid the following giant egg:

...that has got to hurt.

And so it begins...

2009-01-24T02:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, this is the first of what will hopefully become a regular blog so I better start it well...

...welcome to Blank Stare!

What is Blank Stare I hear you ask (well, hear you think, since I doubt you said that out loud... well ok, I didn't actually hear you think, as I have yet to discover any ESP-type powers I may have). Well, basically, Blank Stare is simply my way of jotting down my thoughts to share with others with the added bonus that people will actually read them... god bless the internet!

Well who am I hear you ask (well, hear you... oh forget it). Well, at the risk to destroying the air of mystique I may have created, I will tell you the following.

My name is Mark, I live in England (where we do not, as the stereotypes suggest, spend all our time drinking tea while being terribly nice to each other), I'm 25, an Aries and I'm currently working in a call-center which isn't the best job, but I've had far more soul-destroying work than this in the past. Plus I also work a couple of hours a week on a radio station which gives me blessed relief.

Anyway, that's enough about me. Let's just get this show on the road!